What To Do When You Have A High Libido And Your Partner Doesn't
Updated: Jun 5
Everyone's libido changes throughout their life. Couples in long term relationships specifically have this problem. But there are solutions to make sure it doesn't seriously hurt your relationship. Does your sex drive not match your partners? No need to worry. Read on to find out how to fix it.
Look At Yourself First
Before talking to your partner, you need to realize how your own sex drive has changed over time. Our sex drives change throughout our lives due to many factors. Things like stress, changes in hormones and general health have a huge impact on libidos.
There are also other issues not related to your overall health. Are you still attracted to your partner? Is there some reason your angry about your relationship? Do you want to get out of your current situation? These examples may also be the reason for your mismatched sex drives.
Don't Place Blame
Never feel guilty or ashamed about the amount of sex you want. Also, never blame your partner for your mismatched libidos. Doing so might make them angry and defensive. Instead, remind yourself that it's probably nothing personal against you.
Talk To Them
Talk to your partner about the differences in your sex life. Tell them you would like to find a compromise that works for both of you. Find out of your partner feels the same way. Below are five things to possibly help.
1. Take It Slow
Due to movies and TV shows, we think spontaneous sex should always happen. That's not how it is in real life. It was so much easier when you first began your relationship. The desire and sexual attraction was very uncontrollable. Now that you've been together for a while, you need to work on creating that arousal again.
Giving each other massages, taking showers together or even making a meal together may create some intimate feelings and desires.
2. Introduce Sex Toys
Bringing sex toys into a relationship has been shown to increase libidos. Many women have a hard time having an orgasm with straight penetration. The interest in sex may decline because of this. Incorporating a sex toy, such as a vibrator, may help the desire of sex due to the increased chance of an orgasm.
There are couples sex toys that are made to enhance the sex you are already having. A sex wedge pillow will give support and allow for deeper penetration. The G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator can be used as a clitoris or penis massager. The remote control wearable vibrator would be a fun addition. Or, if you want to get kinky, a sex swing that comes with a blindfold may be your answer. You can read our article on introducing sex toys into your relationship here.
There are times when one partner wants sex and the other doesn't. This is where masturbation comes into play. Don't be ashamed of it. Tell your partner that you need a sexual release. This will also help in any resentment that is building up due to the different libidos.
You can even include your partner in it. Have your partner be close to you, touching your body and kissing you as your pleasuring yourself. It will help you climax and maybe get them sexually aroused to.
4. Be Realistic
You need to be realistic about being in a relationship with varying degrees of sex drives. Ask yourself if it's too big of a hurdle to overcome. Are you able to satisfy your sexual needs through masturbation and occasional sex?
Sexual differences is one of the biggest reasons why couples break up. Think about the pros and cons of ending the relationship. Try and use the tactics above before making any rash decisions. We all need sexual gratification, some more than others.